School Days, School Daze

Today I present one of my favorite lesson plans ever: T.S. Eliot takes on Etheridge Knight, in the Rockem-Sockem Robot/Celebrity Death Match of Prufrock versus Hard Rock. It's going to be GOOD. Seriously, the discussion should be awesome.

From one of my students: "Tips for Ms. Parker's MFA Program"

Salient Features:
* No "good" poem can get by without a reference to razors.
* Reference Persephone (who was kidnapped by Hades and forced to live half of every year in the underworld), Orpheus (a poet who tried to rescue his wife from Hades), Eurydice (the wife of Orpheus), Tantalus (doomed to forever sit in pool of water with grapes hanging overhead but not be able to touch them), the Cimmerii (people who lived in eternal darkness), or other ancient Greek/Roman tragic stories. These make your poem seem almost like real poetry!
* Diction is what can make or break your poem. Use words that sound goth -- ephemeral, vorpal, evanescent, phlegmatic, atramentous, etc. It doesn't even matter if you use them correctly, as long as your audience doesn't know the difference.
* Blood is never red. It can be crimson, cerise -- even erubescent -- but never red. Also, instead of "bloody," try "ensanguined."
* Throw in some random Latin. "Memento mori" (literally, "remember mortality," but commonly used as "remember you must die") is a big hit, as are "nox" (night), "clavicula" (key), and "caligo" (gloom or mental darkness). It doesn't matter if you actually know Latin...just use some random phrases and mock anyone who questions you.

_________
Can you see why I love this class?

I have a real, real writer. What am I going to do? I hope some good--how to edit?

This and That

My dozen or so readers (LOL--am I not optimistic?) may have noticed my absence. I've started my semester of teaching Introduction to Creative Writing (poetry class) at a local university. I have 10 witty and attentive students. I only hope I can keep the pace at a lively level. The first workshop is next week, and I am excited to see their work. Three of the poems are far above beginning level--I am pretty sure there are 3 poets in the class. We've been discussing imagery, the line, and breath, and every one of the students used imagery in their poems. Their line breaks often showed smart choices, and none of them, not a single one of them, was late with the assignment. That's a first for me as a teacher. THEY LISTEN! THEY TALK! I've had so much fun that I cannot believe I'm being paid.

Note for all you other neophyte adjuncts out there: Nancy Willard's poetry is extremely teachable. She is the Billboard with a Bullet artist.

Another PS--One of my students told me she watched In Her Shoes for the poetry.

Truth (?!?) Is Stranger than Fiction

If I handed this in to a fiction class, my professor would fail me immediately for unbelievability (as well he should). Note that the author wrote for One Life to Live. The National Enquirer wrinkle of my right brain wonders, "Can it be?" The song options are endless here...

Dillon as Bukowski--I have to see this!

Dear Matt,

RE: You, Me, and Dupree--all is forgiven.

Your pal,

Pamela

Existential Bush (from Salon)

"So first of all, lemme tell you, Laura, if all frogs were like Albert Ca-Moose-and-Squirrel, the author, we wouldn't have quarrel with that nation or any other, and I could eat french toast again, not to mention french dressing, which beats ranch all to heck."

Stolen from Peter--Google Define: Pamela

Rhapsodie variety. Large, standard African Violet (4-inch pot size) with single, burgundy flowers and medium green pubescent leaves. Introduced 1988. Improved 1999. (AVSA Reg. No. 6988) More information.
www.optimara.com/optimaraglossary/p-phy.html

Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded is a novel by Samuel Richardson, first published in 1740. While Richardson did not invent the name Pamela the novel did help to popularize the name in English-speaking countries. The novel is in epistolary form, consisting of letters and diary entries.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pamela

So I'm a shrinking virgin...or and the oldest p(l)otted novel in English...(purple prose, I'm sure).

I'm glad I improved in 1999. Maybe there's time for another improvement in 2010...when I will be older than the dirt in which I'm rooted...

Poem in Which I Smack Down Lines to Answer AJPL's Challenge

Sonnet Penned on a Paper Napkin While
Drafting a Sestina in an All-Night Diner

Oh, man, this is like seriously effed up.
The eggs are drowning in their hollandaise
Like Stevie Smith in the Atlantic. “Cup
Of coffee?“ asks the waitress. No more daze--
I'll be buzzing like a bandsaw after
Two, writing on. (Six words, my sestina
Cycle, spin like laundry, or like laughter).
Where's Friday to my Crusoe, Altafina?

Bacon like rickrack curls upon my plate;
5-3-1...the stanzas coil and wait...
Three cups downed black--yet no muse--what's the use?
Gold flecks Formica like the coins from Zeus.
"$6.24's your check," my waitress chimes.
I'll have to tip her in like total dimes.

___________
This bit of doggerel (like an episode of Dragnet) is based on an actual incident, during which I learned several valuable life lessons.

A. Never order hollandaise sauce in an all-night diner.
B. Don't use the words “laundry” and “laughter” to end-stop a sestina.
C. When one uses yard-sale change to cover a restaurant tab, one should anticipate the wrath of one's waitress.
D. Formica might really be fool's gold.

P.S. The last line was modified from something Anne Lamott said in a lecture on writing. I gratefully acknowledge her index card method.

Word of the Day and Emily Dickinson

dithyramb \DITH-ih-ram\ noun

1 : a usually short poem in an inspired wild irregular strain
2 : a statement or writing in an exalted or enthusiastic vein


Did you know?
In ancient Greece, the wine god Dionysus (or Bacchus) was feted several times throughout the year. Processions, feasts, dances, and dramatic performances, accompanied by poems recited or sung in the god's honor, were all part of the revelry. Not too surprisingly, the poems tended to be wild, irregular, and dissonant. We know that the Greeks used "dithyrambos" as the word for a poem in honor of Dionysus, but beyond that the origin of the word is unknown. The ancient Greeks also had an adjective, "dithyrambikos," which gave us our adjective "dithyrambic," meaning "pertaining to or resembling a dithyramb."

My question is "Wild Nights!". Dithyramb--yea or nay?

Word Cloud (from this blog)

above age art beautiful best better big birthday blue body book books cannot coffee complete Daniel dark daughter days death down earth end eyes family favorite fiction friend good happy hard Harvey heart home house husband kentucky life like light little lost love mean memory mfa mom night old omg one pamela people pink poem poems poetry point poor read reading red remember right ring room school sister small son state story summer sun think thought three times transcription two vroom water white wife wish wonder word words work world write writing years

I find it impossible that one of my most frequently used words is VROOM. I must have seen Cars way too many times. I guess I should confess how obsessed Daniel and Harvey were with Micro Machines. Anybody remember them? Oh, those were the days.

Quote in search of a poem

"When the light hits me in a certain way, I'm almost attractive."

Peter O'Toole

A Modest Proposal for Our Fearless Leader

This just in from Slate:

"I think -- tide turning -- see, as I remember --I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of -- it's easy to see a tide turn -- did I say those words?"
-- Our President, asked if the tide is turning in Iraq

In my humble opinion (that of a yellow-dog Democrat), this man should have listened to more Blondie in the 80's. Heck, he should listen to Blondie instead of Condie right now. I mean it. In fact, here's some good advice from Parallel Lines:



Oh, don't ya know?
Don't wanna see ya any more.
Put up or shut up.
Ya spell, ya read, D.O.O.R.
Ya got a big mouth and I'm happy to see
your foot is firmly entrenched
where a molar should be.
If you talk much louder
you could get an award
from the federal communications board...

Oh, don't ya know?
I don't wanna see ya curse and pout.
Pack it and move it.
Ya spell, ya read, O.U.T out.
Don't go be bad 'cause you been had.
Don't go away sad.
Don't go away mad,
Just go away!
Go away!
Go away and stay away!

"Where There is No Vision, the People Parrish"

From American Heritage (click to enlarge)

Maxfield Parrish (1870-1966) was already a familiar magazine and advertising illustrator when he created this promotion for Edison Mazda light bulbs in 1922. As a child gazes at the lamplight’s reflection in the water, a couple stares at its source atop a pile in a mystical Venetian harbor. Behind them is a sky of the cobalt that was known as Parrish blue. Parrish achieved the luminous colors that marked much of his artwork by a technique involving several coats of oil and varnish.

The only piece I have by Parrish is an advertising booklet for Jell-O. It's beautiful but nothing like this advert.

I want to wake in a room whose walls are Parrish blue.

Mars Bars! (Verbatim: An e-mail I received from my 7th grade teacher)

The red planet is about to be spectacular! This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again. The encounter will culminate on August 27th whenMars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10 p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of August when the two planets areclosest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m. That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. Share this with your children and grandchildren. NO ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN.
___

My question to the Magic 8-ball and the Ouija board and to the Tarot and to you, Dear Reader:

What perturbs your orbit?

I down, XXIII left

According to my MFA workshop, I have a completely finished poem. I have never felt that anything (except childbirth) was ever over, ever completed. Now only 23 to go for my thesis.

Query: We need 24 poems to graduate. Should I shoot for collection or composition? I have two themes in mind...