From E-Verse Radio

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, meanings for common words.

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. (And a coffer would be...)

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. (and students at mid-term would be testes?)

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. (and hopefully there would be moral rectitude?)

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. (for all transcriptionists everywhere)

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. (Or carried off in the mouth of an exuberant golden retriever)

Clinical Pearls

We have new transcriptionists at work--and my favorite physician is providing ample instruction for them: Cases in point:

1. The lungs reveal bilateral pleural effusions--and, transcriptionist, that is not P-L-U-R-A-L, even though there are two lungs. Go figure...but please insert the "e" this time.

2. Exam reveals cryptic tonsils. Yes, transcriptionist,that word is cryptic. Just like in Stephen King, only there I think it was ears. I need to work on my reading list to impress you transcriptionists--what do you think of Zadie Smith?

3. The patient, although not at all indisposed, convinced the ill-fated Admissions worker that I wanted to admit her to the floor, and the hospital was once again her Hilton. Don't put this, but I wanted to sign out AMA from her case.

Back when I actually had to go to the hospital to work (instead of sitting here at home in my pajamas, rapidly typing away--and, by the way, thank you, Al Gore, for inventing the internet), Favorite Physician called the office. When I answered the phone, he said, "Quick--who is this?" I told him, "Your name is Dr. Doctor, in case you've forgotten your ID badge." He started laughing and then told someone else in the room with him, "Pay up the fifty bucks." That day, he bought us all lunch with his ill-gotten gains, and I was able to meet him "in person." Now he sends me e-mail lists with his favorite oxymoronic phrases: jumbo shrimp, recent past history, organized doctor...

Happy Doctor's Day to my favorite doctor. You know who you are.

Cavafy--Translated by Aliki Barnstone

Che Fece . . . Il Gran Rifiuto

A day comes to some people when
they must pronounce the great Yes or the great No.
It is instantly clear who has the Yes within,
ready; and by uttering it, he crosses over to

his honor and conviction. The one who
refuses has no remorse. If asked again,
he'd say no again. And yet that No —
the right No — weighs him down to his life's end.

[1901]
Translated with Willis Barnstone

These translations are excellent--the rhyme crept in here, too. I tried this before with my grandmother's old Greek dictionary last April--that was my poetry project for National Poetry Month. Mostly, I learned it's hard to translate a poem if you don't know how the language sounds. German wasn't much better, either.

I think I'll order the book.

HipHop, Somebody Gets Published Again, Bling, and Basketball Blues

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VOLUME="50%" BGCOLOR="000000">


See the video at NikeWomen.com

Raleigh and I are addicted to this video. We're learning all the steps--I have not danced so much since my B52 days. I can do the arms faster, but she has nailed the feet. Maybe we'll take this on the road!

Also from Raleigh: She's published another story in her school newspaper: "THE IDITAROD--ALLIE ZIRKLE FROM A TO Z." The opening sentence is In Alaska, the athletes are dogs. I just love it. To celebrate another publication, and because she cleaned her room, we bought two hermit crabs this weekend--Harry and Hermione, who are just hilarious. I didn't know you had to mist hermit crabs, but they love it.

As for the bling--Harvey bought some jewelry this weekend--shells in sterling silver, which are not for the hermit crabs--and it's not even our anniversary (April 29). H. also bought bulbs again--pink and white tulips--64 of them, getting ready to bloom. I think that's his response to March Madness. We're planting a shade garden. The lady down the street

Basketball--I have one team left in the Final 4 at work. If Florida can win it all, I get $150.00. I cannot get any more points in the Final 4 PoBlog. I think Ironic Points is going to walk away the winner there.

My newest short story is nearly 30 pages. That is a record.

Maybe it's just the orange...

Blake.



Ingres.

I think perhaps I see some parallels here. The Ingres is from 1807. The Blake is from approximately 1805. The idea of the throne...the twisting figures. Hmnnn...

Week in Review--

I wrote a new short story this weekend, and I already have some good ideas of how to proceed on revising it. Anybody remember what a draft card/postcard looks like?

My short story ("Horses") was finally workshopped last week, and the instructor thinks that it needs to have Patti Smith's song removed as the focus of the story. This is going to be difficult, as it is killing a darling I thought I'd never, ever murder. I think he's right, though I surely will miss having Ms. Smith's music in my story. One of the reasons the class gave was that it limited the audience of who'd read it and appreciate it. I don't really think about audience much when I'm writing, unless it's a technical article (the only paying gigs I ever have). Maybe I should.

Poems are moving slowly. I am trying to write about subjects that I haven't addressed before. This is slogging.

Creme de la Meme--What Book...

Made you cry (and still does): A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving, and Where the Wild Things Are , Maurice Sendak.

Scared you (and still does): Ghost Story by Peter Straub. Only Ms. Rebecca Louden has a comparably terrifying wasp. What Maisie Knew & The Turn of the Screw , Henry James.

Made you laugh: What Do You Say, Dear?" by Maurice Sendak.

Disgusted you: Choke by Chuck P.(although I loved it).

You loved in elementary school: The Velvet Room by Z. Sherburne; Jade (a girl who became a pirate--if anyone knows who wrote this, let me know--I'd love to buy Raleigh a copy). Alice in Wonderland.

You loved in middle school: Something in the Wind by Lee Smith. This book opens with a man trading his wife for a valise. How can anyone possibly have a better hook than that?

You loved in high school (and still love): The Big Sleep. When I read about knights and their quests in college, I loved this book all the more.

You hated in high school (and still hate): The Mill on the Floss

You loved in college: Lolita. The best detective story of all time.

Challenged your identity: The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Sabina or Tereza? Ecclesiastes, especially bookended against The Song of Songs . All is vanity versus the sexiest writing anywhere. I guess the question is where true wisdom is found--Spirit or Sexuality? What does it mean to know?

Series did you love: Nero Wolfe books by Rex Stout (Until my dying day, I will long to kiss Archie Goodwin in a taxicab, in a rainstorm, in NYC...)

Is your favorite horror book: Again, Ghost Story. Really, I cannot recommend P. Straub highly enough---I also admire Koko. Honorable Mention: It (for the kids), The Shining (for the marriage), and especially Misery (for helping me understand some things about my family), all by Stephen King.

Is your favorite science fiction book: A Wrinkle in Time by L'Engle. Anything by Ray Bradbury goes here, also.

Is your favorite fantasy book: Neil Gaiman is my current literary crush. I especially love Neverwhere and American Gods. Another book that terrified me is Coraline. I've not felt the same about buttons since.

Is your favorite mystery book: It's really Lolita, but in the interests of genre it's hard to beat The Ax by Donald Westlake, which is as brilliant a depiction about the working-class man and his family as is Death of a Salesman.

Is your favorite biography: It's not really a biography, but The Master is the truest account I've read about Henry James.

Is your favorite "coming-of-age" book: A Member of the Wedding is one. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is another.

Is your favorite book not on this list: Miss Lonelyhearts, The Day of the Locust, Song of Solomon, Beloved, The Ambassadors, & Death in Venice.

Tagged: All readers. What do you like? What books do you need?

Two from E-Verse Radio Today

"All art emulates the condition of ritual. That is what it comes from and to that it must always return for nourishment." - T.S. Eliot

VERSUS

(a) "I've never liked T.S. Eliot, even though I view The Waste Land as a cardinal work of the twentieth century. I find Eliot grindingly conceptual and calculated; everything is pre-programmed, mapped out like a crossword puzzle. He leaves little to intuition, to the suggestive power of words. And he's too priggish about basic emotion....

(b) You don't ask about Auden, but that's another big omission in Break, Blow, Burn. I had fully intended to include an Auden poem and was dismayed when I couldn't find anything I could endorse for the general reader. Like Pound, Auden had tremendous influence on other poets; his casual, conversational style would permeate modern writing. But the poems themselves I find of questionable quality."

- Camille Paglia

______
Response--
(a) Any takers on this? Right now I am too dumbfounded to think. Is ritual priggish? I think that "Four Quartets" is moving.

(b) "Musee des Beaux Arts, perhaps my favorite ekphratic poem of all time?
And certainly the one of the smartest uses of adverbs...

Toni Morrison and the Golden Rule

I'm reading Beloved again, and wondering: Do unto yourself before they can do unto you?

American Goth

Oh, I wish I'd thought of this. Love it, love it, love it.

Just Once, I'd Like to be a Meercat

Cougar


What Is Your Animal Personality?
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Final 4 Predictions

Here's who I have drawn:

Duke
Gonzaga
North Carolina
Florida

Duke versus NC in the finals, with NC beating Duke.

I'd personally love to be wrong and see NC fall to my alma mater, Murray State, whom they meet in the first round.

What do you think? Peter, I think it's NC and Washington in the finals in DC.

PS From My Favorite Elementary School Teacher

Children's Science Exam Answers.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
PS I thought this was a singing group!


Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
PS Glad to know that flirtation keeps our waiter (sic) safe.


Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
PS And if the sun shines on a mountain, then we have...

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this !)
A: Keep it in the cow.
PS This gives Bart's "Don't have a cow, man!" a whole new meaning.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
PS Ask Galileo

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
PS What would transcontinental involve? I take that back, I don't want to know.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
PS NO COMMMENT.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains
the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,
A, E, I, O, and U.
PS Maybe it's INTERCONSONANT...

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
PS And the tibia would be a small tib...

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
PS Lit by Roman candles?

Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.
PS This cannot be improved.

Q: What does the word " benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
PS Bedamned if I can improve on this one, either.

Fuhget-Me-Not

I'm Pamela "The Mannequin" Johnson Parker. Wanna make something of it?

Charles Baudelaire: The Flowers of Evil. You are

one of the most loved and hated poetic works.

Death and decadence are important themes for

you, but none should overlook your impressive

aesthetics, either. Deep down youre not evil

at all, you just like to play the tough guy

on the block.


Which literature classic are you?
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With Forked Tongue

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

First Weekend in May Prediction

Keyed Entry--you heard it here.

I'm not 100% positive, because he's a front-runner, but this is my pick so far.

South Dakota: The Exception?

Napoli: A Response

As if women could
be classified like olive
oil, extra virgin,

making them somehow
more precious, more transparent,
more palatable…

and I’m thinking of
Zeus, how he swallowed up Metis
so he’d have her

exactly where he
wanted her, by god (and by state)
how we’re all cold-pressed

"EROIQUE"

Last evening, Harvey, Raleigh, and I heard Orion Weiss in concert at MSU. What technique--his selections included Chopin, Mozart, Carver, and of course Beethoven. He played the Eroica so passionately his glasses fell off and skidded across the stage, right at Raleigh's feet. (We were in the front row). Oh, how I love Beethoven, all the way through my whole body.

One funny moment--near the end of one of the more dissonant pieces, Harvey flinched, visibly, like he'd been shocked. Afterwards, the pianist left and there was a brief intermission. Out came the tuner. It was "the highest A," Harvey said. I looked, and 12 years of keyboard bore him out. That's where the tuner was torquing. What I'd give for perfect pitch.

83 Years Ago Today, This Was Published

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

______

In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo...

Because it's his birthday today...

_____
Bumper Sticker of the Week:

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

SUBLIMINAL MUTTERINGS THIS WEEK AND A QUESTION

1. Upgrade::
Systems

2. Happy ending::
Everafter

3. Stale::
Bread

4. Tripping::
the light fantastic

5. Working::
Class stiff

6. Explicit::
Implicit

7. Happy place::
Refuge

8. Tornado::
Auntie Em Auntie Em

9. Medication::
Chemotherapy

10. Muppet::
Christmas Carol

I really don't like the Muppets, mainly for a silly reason. I used to think Kermit was the coolest name for a boy--and then I discovered there was a trenchcoat-clad amphibian who had usurped that name. Daniel likes the name Kermit, too, but he is relieved that I didn't inflict that on him. Maybe we'll name our next dog Kermit.

______
Who's Your Literary Crush?: I saw this question/response on The Guardian web site, (Who would be your famous literary crush), and I answered Odysseus, but upon further reflection, here's my considered response.

Eavan Boland, Eavan Boland, Eavan Boland

"How It Was Once In Our Country"

In those years I owned a blue plate,
blue from the very edges to the centre
ocean-blue, the sort of under-wave blue
a mermaid could easily dive down into and enter.

When I looked at the plate I saw the mouth
of a harbour, an afternoon without a breath
of air, the evening clear all the way to Howth
and back, the sky a paler blue further to the south.

Consider the kind of body that enters blueness,
made out of dead-end myth and mischievous
whispers of an old, borderless
existence where the body's meaning was both more
and less.

Sea-trawler, land-siren: succubus to all the dreams
land has of ocean, of its old home.
She must have witnessed deaths. Of course she did.
Some say she stayed down there to escape the screams.


Eavan Boland

A Raven like a Doggy Stylin Dizzy

This was so funny that I spilled coffee all over myself.

All Eyes on Wallace Stevens

Domination Of Black

At night, by the fire,
The colors of the bushes
And of the fallen leaves,
Repeating themselves,
Turned in the room,
Like the leaves themselves
Turning in the wind.
Yes: but the color of the heavy hemlocks
Came striding.
And I remembered the cry of the peacocks.

The colors of their tails
Were like the leaves themselves
Turning in the wind,
In the twilight wind.
They swept over the room,
Just as they flew from the boughs of the hemlocks
Down to the ground.
I heard them cry -- the peacocks.
Was it a cry against the twilight
Or against the leaves themselves
Turning in the wind,
Turning as the flames
Turned in the fire,
Turning as the tails of the peacocks
Turned in the loud fire,
Loud as the hemlocks
Full of the cry of the peacocks?
Or was it a cry against the hemlocks?

Out of the window,
I saw how the planets gathered
Like the leaves themselves
Turning in the wind.
I saw how the night came,
Came striding like the color of the heavy hemlocks
I felt afraid.
And I remembered the cry of the peacocks.

_______

Anecdote of the Prince of Peacocks

In the moonlight
I met Berserk,
In the moonlight
On the bushy plain.
Oh, sharp he was
As the sleepless!

And, “Why are you red
In this milky blue?”
I said.
“Why sun-colored,
As if awake
In the midst of sleep?”

“You that wander,”
So he said,
“On the bushy plain,
Forget so soon.
But I set my traps
In the midst of dreams.”

I knew from this
That the blue ground
Was full of blocks
And blocking steel.
I knew the dread
Of the bushy plain,

And the beauty
Of the moonlight
Falling there,
Falling
As sleep falls
In the innocent air.

Tidbits

Yo-yos have been used as a toy for over 2,500 years. The ancient Romans played with wooden and metal yo-yo's. However, the word "yo-yo" may come from Tagalog language (the language of the Philippines), meaning "to come back."

________

The pale arch at the end of a fingernail is called a lunula.

________

I'm still thinking about Lee Smith's reading.

One Word: Seize

Carpe diem seize
the day cease the seizing--seize
and desist--16

in French, o sweet
16 in french--I've given
up love for Lent--ceased

))))))))

Reading Philip Larkin's "The Explosion." Anyone else out there see a comparison with (of all strange candidates) Henry Wadsworth Longfellow?

I took my po-biz C-note and spent it on a great dinner for Harvey and me. The wine was fabulous--and I almost never have wine with food. Palazzo della Torre, and I could smell the flowers...dense good flavor and not acid at all. We're buying a bottle of this PDQ.

Smudged grey crosses over foreheads yesterday--Lent. Even though I'm not Catholic, I've feel like I should give up something--like diet and exercise. I've started back on a walking program. Yesterday I walked 2 miles, in heels, to get from the panel discussion to the restaurant to the reading to the reception--my friend had a pedometer and we calibrated it. Today my feet are sore but the rest of me feels pretty good.

Lee Smith was fabulous. I felt like a moron for not buying a book after the reception...but I own almost all her books, even a 1973 paperback of Something in the Wind, which is held together by rubberbands. Hearing her read makes me want to write fiction and also o despair of ever writing fiction.

Ten I Swear By (from Emily's Blog)

1. The Book of Nightmares, Galway Kinnell
2. Geography III, Elizabeth Bishop
3. Selected Works, Tennyson (Go on and laugh--then read something of his aloud. No poet has more beautiful sound effects).
4. Work, for the Night is Coming, Jared Carter
5. Transformations, Anne Sexton
6. Old Testament (specifically Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, and Job)
7. Outside History, Eavan Boland
8. Resurrection Update, James Galvin
9. Rising and Falling , William Matthews
10. Ghost Money , Lynda Hull