From E-Verse Radio

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, meanings for common words.

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs. (And a coffer would be...)

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. (and students at mid-term would be testes?)

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. (and hopefully there would be moral rectitude?)

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist. (for all transcriptionists everywhere)

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. (Or carried off in the mouth of an exuberant golden retriever)