After a day shopping with my daughter and trying on shoes and funny accents with my daughter and trick-or-treating with my daughter (she went as Kristen Stewart--an ideal costume since they both have a patent on the snarl-as-smile), and after falling asleep during Paranormal Activity with my daughter (an indication of my exhaustion level), I dreamed last night of Harvey. He and I were sitting in the kitchen drinking out of incredible Art Deco teacups, and smiling at each other. He said to me, You know I always will, so go ahead. I don't know what he was talking about, maybe nothing, maybe everything; I feel that I have his permission to keep living.
Oh to see those green eyes glowing at me, oh to see those strong fingers wrapped around that cup, oh to know that smile is for me. I could stay alive with dreams like this--even snippets of Harvey are better than no Harvey. I have been praying for a dream of him. This is the first one I have had since July 13, when I dreamed we were wandering through a beautiful garden of flowers, a botanical garden, and he said I'll make us one like this. Maybe he's doing that right now.
In the meantime...
1 comment:
Wishing you more dreams, a place I often believe is a PLACE not some neurological energy pulse. I may dream of being the D. Harry of then and singing rock and roll. It seems a day for imagining other lives.
Post a Comment