So out of love with life am I
No future will have me.
No future will have me.
James Galvin, two lines from X
These lines have stayed with me since I first read Galvin's book. I never dreamed that they'd be true to my life. They've been true now for 522 days.
I want to believe that I have a future, but right now being present is tense enough. (Now I'm quoting from my final poem in Cleave).
Work is good to have but exhausting, teaching is exhilarating but an enormous responsibility, and writing is just too darned hard these days. I've written two poems in 2012 (one finished, the other an erasure--and is that type of poem, I wonder, ever finished?).
I can barely hold a thought in my head, other than I love my children, I love my parents, I love my friends, and I love poetry, fiction, and reading.
One day at a time, but sweet Jesus it is hard. (Yes, I know I'm borrowing from Christy Lane).
3 comments:
I feel this too,
Hang in there. I swear. Just hang in there.
Thanks. I am hanging on. It's just crazy days, and I'm in a crazy daze. These are the 25th anniversary of all our firsts, and some of them I feel are the death of me.
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