Here in Kentucky...where "sucker" refers to tobacco, not to lollipops or the gullible, and "fickinto" is a state of mind...

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. (They're not roadkill--yet).

Squirrels will eat anything (except possum).

Raccoons will test your watermelon crop and let you know when it's ripe.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites. If it's a snake, it's maybe pizenous.

A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

"Onced" and "twiced" are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy. (If you gather them up at the grocery, you are "a-herding the silver buffalo").

"Upanunder" means underneath.

"Fixinto" is one word. (Variant spelling is fickinto).

There's no such thing as "lunch." There's "dinner" and then there's "supper." You don't cook any meal, not even breakfast. You fix it. You can be a good cook, but you fix all your meals.

Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two.

"Backards and forwards" means, "I know everything about you."

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.

You work until you're done or it's too dark to see (known as dark-thirty).

You measure distance in minutes.

You have to switch from heat to air conditioning in the same day.

You see a car running in a store parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year/time of the day.

Fix is verb that doesn't always mean "repair." Example: "I am fixing to go to the store." "I am fixing me a little snack."

All the festivals across the state are named after plants, insects, or animals. (I was the 5th Grade Possum Princess).

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car. (Why is this weird???)

You know what "cow tipping" is.

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, hot sauce, and what's affectionately referred to as "Terbasker."

The local papers cover national and international news on one page and six pages for local gossip and sports.

The first day of deer season is a holiday. (And kids are released from school for Tater Day).

You find 90 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."

You know all four seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

Going to Wal-mart is a social activity known as "Goin' a-walmartin," or "Off to Wally World."

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good soup bean weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinna coke you want?" "A small Coke--make it a R.C."

Fried catfish is the third white meat.

You know what lard is.

You know what a moon pie is, and why the Coke you drink with it has to be R.C.

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Every one of these is true for me--yet I have never tipped a cow. I'm fixing to when I turn 50.


PS "W-H-A-T" is pronounced "whut."


PSS The phrase "hooked up like a boy dog" is used in polite conversation.

PSSS Red-eye gravy is made from the grease of country ham to which cold coffee is added.

PSSSS You may say po-tay-to/to-may-to, he may say po-tah-to/to-mah-to--here we say taters and maters. And I am fixing to fix stuffed maters for for supper tonight.