Have you ever stolen a book? Which book was it? Why did you steal it? Do you still have it?
I swiped Abbie Hoffman's Steal This Book from a real-life hippie when I was 12 years old. I stole it because, well, it asked. I still have it. The pages are crumbling, but if you need a template for tire-tread sandals, I'm your girl.
Do you consider your life as a poet punishment for this and other thefts?
Not the comfy chair! Not the fluffy pillows ! I'm a fiction writer, mainly.
Do you often recite lines from old love letters to yourself, the ones you wrote to yourself instead of that person you were pretending to love all those years ago? Do you charm yourself? Are you seduced?
I am easily charmed but rarely self-seduced. I don't recite from love letters, but I can say the alphabet backwards, quickly.
Have you ever read a Hemingway story about catching VD from a hooker in a taxicab to your family at dinner? Which Hemingway story? Why? Did your family appreciate your point?
Nope, not Hemingway, but I have bored them with Absalom, Absalom before. And will again.
Can you admit you do not have a favorite poem? Why do you enjoy this lie?
I have a favorite poem--"I Knew a Woman," by Roethke. Occasionally, I cheat on it with "Crusoe in England." (My only monogamous committments are to my husband and Milky Way candy bars.)
When you read The Chronicles of Narnia back in grade school did you find the kids to be insufferable, especially that twit who ate all the Turkish Delight? Or did you just care about Jesus?
They were all insufferable, but I didn't read C.S. Lewis till I had a child of my own. I thought Turkish Delight was hashish till I read that book.
Do you dream of book tours during which you also sell meat and solve crime?
I do occasionally dream of solving crimes but am vetoing the butcher-book tour.
Which vegetal aroma first comes to mind when you read each the following words (be specific): library? textbook? classroom? bookstore?
One potato, two potato, three potato, four--so much starch!
If you answered any of these questions, do you realize what you have done? Are you proud of it?
If I had answered any of these questions seriously, I'd be very afraid.
Do you believe you will be remembered after you are gone? Do you believe you will be forgotten?
I believe I will be remembered, if only for my boiled omelets.
Thank you for taking the time to consider these topics. Your participation in this study enables or stymies the researchers, depending.
You're quite welcome.
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