Gratitude Journal, Two Days in One

1. I am grateful that I didn't delete my blog when I tried to make it private.
2. I am glad that I am so interesting that my students want to read this, although it did make me slightly uncomfortable (Translation: MORTIFIED) that one of my students mentioned that there is a "sexy post about your old boyfriend." (Well, he's not that old, but 35 years ago is a long time). I also was very surprised that the "old boyfriend" read that post about kissing him. That is strange. To have the past read the present words...
3. I am grateful that I was able to substitute teach a real workshop and see how wonderful are the poems Caitlin, Sean, Ford, Ryan, Joan, Sebastian, and Patrick are writing. I was glad to meet David, whose poem I adored. Thank you, Carrie Jerrell, for sharing your class with me. I return them to you, predominantly intact.
4. I am glad I have 214/beginning writers, as we had a great workshop today over the "thing" poems a la Rilke, or Simic, or Duffy. Go Kencie, Brittany, and Lauren; get ready, Greg, Austin, Jen, and Sarah Beth.
5. I am grateful that kissing is still my superpower.
6. I am glad I followed my instincts and didn't date the guy who turned out to be in a relationship (Translation: MARRIED). I have dated a married man before but he was married TO ME, and his name was Harvey. We had dates all the time.
7. I'm grateful that Harvey wrote me a sexy post-it note about an aboriginal instrument called a didgeridoo. I'm glad I found it on a day I was missing him so badly. It really reminded me of what we had that was special, and sexy, and circular. I loved him. I love him. I miss him.
8. In spite of #7, or maybe because of it and #5 and #2, I am glad to admit that ihaveaboyfriend. I am afraid to type this properly, although he would like me to sky-write it in capital letters. (SURRENDER, PAMELA). Part of me wants to keep this very private. I am so grateful, though, for flowers, and phone calls, and videos, and dates, that I want to mention it. I hope this doesn't hurt anyone who wanted me to be a grieving widow forever. I hope that my kids and Harvey's family understand this, because I know that Harvey would understand it, approve of it, and encourage it. (We talked about this 5 years ago, when he had a heart attack). Harvey would so approve of this guy, and I am so glad that I can rely on what Harvey taught me about men and relationships.
9. I am grateful that school is nearly over. I cannot wait to write every day. I didn't write the last two days and "it like to have kilt me." (Quote from one of my favorite stories--can you name it?)
10. I am glad that I discovered the key to a grilled cheese sandwich is shredded cheese. No more stretching stringy glop! Which is a good thing in Gummi Bears but not so much in Swiss cheese.